Do you need to double-check that you locked the door when you leave home, or that you locked the car when you parked? That is normal – we all do it occasionally because our minds are on other things and we forget. However, if you need to go back three, or four times, that may be a problem. You may suffer from OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder.
Seeking marriage counseling doesn’t mean you have given up. It means you care enough about your relationship to work at and get outside help when you appear to be at an impasse. So the first thing to do when seeking a counselor is, don’t view this as a mark of failure. You are salvaging and repairing your marriage.